In 2015 among the most horrible weapons for breaking up with someone, number #1 still is: words.
Words may cut deep into your soul, leave you behind wounded and it’s very hard for others to see the marks. In times of short messages, social media and all, people tend to type thoughts which they would never say out loud standing in front of you. I guess our brains do not make much difference if the input came from our audio interface (ears) or our video googles (eyes).
More than often, I recognize an “undo-mentality-trend” recently. People blow out thoughts in (public) communications with a fire-and-forget mind-set. If the comment did damage to a company or hurt the feelings of an individual, responses are like “if you don’t like the comment, delete it” or “I thought we were friends and friends forgive”.
Of course, forgiving is balm to our own souls. Forgetting everything is (at least for me) not possible and unhealthy. In ZEN we learn a lot from easy comparisons. Imagine a cup of tea. The cup – you. The tea – your soul/ happiness/ spirit…
A solid cup can hold a very hot amount of tea for a long time. A broken cup, well, … sure you can fix it again and glue the parts together. Maybe some parts even got lost in the process; in short, the cup will never be the same. Even if you forgive gravity a million times…
“For everything you have missed you have gained something.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
Learn, forgive and move on – you are not a tree.