Holding back in Love

holding back in love picture for the blog post by Chris Remspecher
You were the lucky one in the past, something happened and now you are holding back in love. Why? Did you burn your fingers at the oven and now you know that it’s hot? Some say, we learn faster through pain. Let’s see…

Recently I met a friend who is going through a weird divorce after being together with that other human being for almost 14 years. Many questions suddenly pop up:

  • What did go wrong?
  • Was it my fault?
  • Will it happen again?
  • Can I love again?
  • Am I still worthy, sexy and loveable?

We talked a lot, had a cocktail or two and finally bought some new running shoes. Sure, I heard “but my old ones are still good!” … but really? Still good and good enough is just not the same like new. Sometimes symbols help us to understand, that we are on our new path now.

Holding back in love is totally understandable but not wise in the long run.

The predictive analytics were quite obvious, life will go on and a new partner will soon be visible at the horizon. A little quantum jump into the future and today is a few months later. Again, we meet, have a cup of chai tea, talk and it is very obvious something changed. The smile was SO BRIGHT on the face 😀

What happened? The new partner did show up, like a perfect delivery from the cosmos. And suddenly the smile vanished from the face and some wrinkles of sorrow did show up.

“It’s too good to be true! Currently I am holding back in love. It could be quickly over again. Again!”

Driving back home, I was pondering about the pattern how we are holding back in love. It was a busy day on the highway. From one traffic jam, I made it to the next. And another…, one more…, and again… oh look, one more! Basically the whole way back was a mixture of driving fast if possible and stop-and-go in the jams.

If you think about it: have you seen anybody driving at 3mph on a free highway? Just because there is the possibility that in a few hundred miles there will be another traffic jam? Have you? To me, it sounds like the pattern of holding back in love. Better move around in life at snail-speed, so you are always super prepared for the next hypothetical traffic jam. Sounds wise?

Off course, it is human, wise and very healthy to slow down after a dramatic change in life. Relax, look around, make sure, you are back in your middle but then pick up speed and stop holding back in love ❤️

SleepyOne Ayurveda Beach Resort Day 2

 SleepyOne Ayurveda Beach Resort Day 2 picture by Chris Remspecher in 2016.SleepyOne Ayurveda Beach Resort, Day #2.

A frog attacked me! Guess I was in his way. Before you ask, no I did not kiss him to check if he is a prince. For me it was the other way round. His wet touch woke me up from unnecessary lost in thinking. The cosmos has some creative ways to get you back into the NOW.
Lots of trucks in India have a sign at their back “use horn” or so. In Germany it would be impolite to use your car horn unless it’s an emergency. In India it’s more the “please wake me up” kinda character. So everybody is using their horns, trucks, busses, cars, bikes(-motor) and tuk-tuks. It’s like a symphony of NOW.

Which brings us directly to the question: how many sorts of basil do you know?

Today I got to taste 3 different sorts of many more. It made me feel stupid and ignorant knowing only one. Is it important to know more than one? Maybe not, but for me, it was a clear sign, I am too happy in my comfort zone. There are sooo many herbs and awesome medical plants in an Ayurveda herbal garden – it’s a shame I only knew maybe 0.5% …

The good thing about it is, these days we are only limited by our choices.

To learn more about something, at least the start is only one click away. Brings us back to the topic, how do we make choices? Kiss or cook the frog? Let’s see what is the recipe of me. A colourful mixture of DNA puzzled around the world via my parents, grand-parents, my grand-grand parents, their parents and their grand-grand-grand parents… in short from various jumping or crawling beings on this planet. I still like the idea, that some of my atoms in my heart once belonged to a dinosaur.

Happy, or not-so-happy, conditioning happens via family, friends and skool. Teachers, professors, your worst enemy at school, and of course – the facility manager! Our brain compiles that code on a daily basis, with none or only rare adjustments.

Me, version v.2.1 started working or “welcome to the sharks!”. Missed your teachers or professors? No worries, you get colleagues and bosses to teach you more about YOU.

Years back I was lucky enough to attend a buddhists teaching. The summary was everybody is your supporter!”. Did sound great until meeting my boss on the next Monday. Don’t worry – it took me SOME years to fully understand this. I know there are extreme cases, e.g. car accidents, murder, child abuse … … and again, I am lucky to know a few splendid humans with a horrible past. Some of the greatest flowers stick out their head through mud.

So decisions, decisions but how?

DNA ME family goals

The question here is: are your goals your goals? Or do you think they are yours but instead you are just fulfilling the ones of your DNA and family?

Recently I asked a student, “how can you be sure?”. He was pondering for quite some time until he came up with a very clever answer: “Well, it looks like I only know the goals of my family and society so far!” Hopefully his girlfriend won’t kill me one day, when she finds out, I kicked him out of his comfort zone. At least for a while…

Lessons learned in 2016

Lessons learned in 2016 by Chris Remspecher.

Lessons learned in 2016

My personal keyword for 2016 is: health. So essential and yet so overlooked, underestimated and out of focus in our busy lives. We take it for granted, most times we take little responsibility but feel huge anger when our body gives us signals. How did my Ayurveda chief doctor in India say „our bodies are wonderful machines“. Again, all starts with the monkeys in our head.

„You are what you think.“ Buddha, Ghandi, your brain, any TV, …

What’s going on inside your head? Are you the BOSS of your neurons? How do you sleep? Some say, we are all connected. If we talk about the internet, nobody would disagree. And then again, is your consciousness connected to your body signals? Do you notice them AND do you take action according to them?

Maybe you like to work a lot to feel needed. Your body is your greatest supporter and delivers more for less over a real long period. A day filled with 8 hours of work, or 9, 10, well, more is possible, too. At one point, you feel out of balance but that’s a relative feeling. There are a lot of tricky things to make you feel „back in the game“. They even work for a little while and your body keeps sending you signals. Off course, you can also ignore the red flashing low fuel sign in your car. Finally, your body will tell you when it needs your immediate attention and pulls in the hard brakes. You know it: „oh hello sickness“ or if you are on the professional level „oh hello hospital“.

Do we learn from it? Hopefully. For a little while in the aftershock we are super sensible, cautious, enlightened and eat super healthy, treat our body first class, pray and what else is needed to get it back on track. And then, laziness strikes back. No signals, no attention, bring on the champagne and potato chips!

In the last few years, I seen too many good people die way too early. Life is short. And just recently I had to disagree with my best friend in London about „everything is under control“. Nothing is under control. Think about it. We don’t even know if our galaxy is inside a dream of a squirrel and thats the real reason why the world is going nuts these days!

My lessons learned in 2016?

  • Life is short.
  • Your health is your wealth.
  • Life is a journey, only travel with those, who will catch you in case you fall.
  • Your brain is your world: shit in, shit out.
  • You can’t buy happiness. Yeah, no real news.
  • Ayurveda is kick-ass science!

If I have useless suggestions for 2017?

  • Get your brain in order. Train it, own it. Re-write your code. Meditate. You create your world.
  • Be crazy. Intelligent. Love your-self.
  • Let all energy suckers go. Yes Steph, also you!
  • No need to save the world. Save your own ass and drag some others with you.
  • Travel. Life is a journey. If physical not possible for you, feed your brain with new nuts.
  • SMILE! 😊

Hope this is somehow useful for you. And thank you to all those lovely souls worldwide who kick my ass to write more on my blog. Bizous!

Namaste Chris

Another day in paradise or why life is so lovely

Another day in paradise picture for the blog post by Chris Remspecher in 2016.Another day in paradise or why life is so lovely

Not everyday feels like another day in paradise. Some start weird, tired, sad or a mixture of all. Recently a workmate died very unexpectedly and way too early. Most of us were shocked, sad or just did not want to believe it.

Right now, it’s just like he is still on holidays.

Yesterday was his funeral. It was sunny, hot and a bit windy. If you wear a black suit with a tie while standing in the direct sunlight, it’s like waiting for the overheating alert on your mobile phone. My brain was about to complain not being within acceptable operating temperatures, but thankfully the ZEN switch kicked in and suddenly I was very happy to be alive!

Life is so lovely outside your comfort zone!

Why do we (I) need funerals or serious illnesses to really understand that each day is another day in paradise? When you wake up tired or feel totally like a sleepy one, there are at least two options:

  • hating the day, work, life and every mosquito on the planet
  • modeling a micro grin and being thankful for another day in paradise

Do you remember how many training lessons your brain needed to keep you in balance on a bicycle? Our brain needs our help for a better morning routine! Some ideas of a better foundation for your day:

  1. realize you are awake, breathe in and out, smile
  2. stand up (slowly) and drink a glass of (warm) water
  3. do a short meditation for 1-2 minutes
  4. eat something light like an oatmeal with an apple
  5. surprise somebody with a special smile 🙂

At the end of the day, or your life, all those little things changed us. A smile, a motivating „we will make it!“ or a friendly „good morning“. Thank you!

Lessons learned in 2015

Lessons learned in 2015 wallpaper by Chris Remspecher.My lessons learned in 2015 look like this:

  1. The impossible is possible.
  2. Death is a daily feature of life.
  3. Staying fit needs time.
  4. Money shows character.
  5. Friends.

Lessons learned in 2015 explained:

One: the impossible is possible. Trust your intuition, listen what people really say (or NOT say), help them to achieve their goals, lead, live and do what you say. Oh, and if you make a mistake, admit it – people will understand and help you.

Two: death is all around us. And that’s ok. I still turn my hourglass twice a day to remind myself to use my time wisely.

Three: having a gym-membership does not automatically keep you fit. Plan your health-schedule like priority 1 meetings. And find somebody to kick your a$$.

Four: some people are so nice. They smile and give you hugs. Then life throws money on the table and suddenly they transform to Gollum “My precious!”.

Five: Friends. You can’t buy friends. And they are not for free. Be a friend and if you have a handful true friends, you are a lucky one.

May 2016 be full of ZEN for you. Namaste.

Desktop wallpaper for lessons learned in 2015 is 2048 x 1365 px. Parallax iPhone wallpaper please find below. Make sure to click the pix until they are full-size, then save on your device. Hope they are useful for you.

Lessons learned in 2015. Picture and text by Chris Remspecher.

Breaking up with Someone

Picture for the blog post "breaking up with someone" by Chris Remspecher in 2015.Breaking up with someone, most times is not easy, but healthy.

In 2015 among the most horrible weapons for breaking up with someone, number #1 still is: words.
Words may cut deep into your soul, leave you behind wounded and it’s very hard for others to see the marks. In times of short messages, social media and all, people tend to type thoughts which they would never say out loud standing in front of you. I guess our brains do not make much difference if the input came from our audio interface (ears) or our video googles (eyes).

More than often, I recognize an “undo-mentality-trend” recently. People blow out thoughts in (public) communications with a fire-and-forget mind-set. If the comment did damage to a company or hurt the feelings of an individual, responses are like “if you don’t like the comment, delete it” or “I thought we were friends and friends forgive”.

Of course, forgiving is balm to our own souls. Forgetting everything is (at least for me) not possible and unhealthy. In ZEN we learn a lot from easy comparisons. Imagine a cup of tea. The cup – you. The tea – your soul/ happiness/ spirit…
A solid cup can hold a very hot amount of tea for a long time. A broken cup, well, … sure you can fix it again and glue the parts together. Maybe some parts even got lost in the process; in short, the cup will never be the same. Even if you forgive gravity a million times…

“For everything you have missed you have gained something.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

 Learn, forgive and move on – you are not a tree.

Digital Mystique or how to be a Superhero

The Digital Mystique by Sarah Granger

The Digital Mystique, a book by Sarah Granger. Picture by Chris Remspecher in 2015.Living in 2015 can be a real digital mystique.

Keeping all your devices, iPhone, iPad, MacBook, etc. up to date can be a real challenge. On the next level, you worry about the kids getting lost in the World Wide Web, while losing your mind explaining your mom that WiFi really does not need a cable!

You have to be a Superhero today.

Sarah Granger (@sarahgranger) wrote a great manual to tackle the daily challenges in our brave new world. The Digital Mystique is a journey through life, love, hope and fears. Sarah will share many stories from her own life and remind you several times, about the importance of friends and community support.

Friends don’t let friends do stupid things – alone.” Unknown

Since this blog is about stress, yes, the digital mystique can be a real relief. Reading how Sarah started her digital career in 1982 and knowing, how gracefully she challenged her brand new iPhone 6 to compete against gravity, makes her a real Superhero of the Digital Mystique. Thank you for the awesome book and letter, Sarah!

Jealousy in a relationship

Jealousy in a relationship is like old dry emotions. Free the jellyfish from your brain!

Jealousy in a relationship.

Is jealousy a useful feeling? Absolutely! It tells you immediately, that you lost your inner peace. Most probably you see or hear something around you, which is not in harmony with your inner world.

Imagine a jealous feeling like one of these old tree branches. One alone is still an obstacle, but quite good to handle. With time, we collect more of them, they just seem to swap over us with the waves. Like old, dry emotions occupying our mind.

Jealousy in a relationship is like a jellyfish in a lousy environment. Yea(h), lousy. Next time the jellyfish is in your brain, ask yourself:

“What does this topic has to do with myself?”

  1. Think about it.
  2. Speak about it.
  3. Change, what you don’t like about it.

If others are jealous of you, yea(h) lousy, but not your business! Their jellyfish.

Big thanks to Miyuki who asked me to write about it and Merci! to the lovely photo location scout, Katharina!

 

Speed of Light

Speed of Light picture taken by Chris Remspecher in 2014.Speed of Light

The speed of light is, well, fast. And then again, it still can be way too slow, when you are stuck in the dark.

Recently several people told me, they feel like they wasted too much time or they live in slow motion for years now. What happens when you come from the light into a dark room? It’s dark. Would it be intelligent to immediately run around? Maybe not.

So you stand still. Look around, give your eyes and your-self some time to adjust. Then move. Sometimes, a tiny light is already enough to give you a rough direction. More than often, you meet friendly beings who join your journey at the speed of light. Hey, it’s gonna be alright!

 

The Keymaker of Pont des Arts

Picture for "The Keymaker of Pont des Arts" by Chris Remspecher in 2014.The Keymaker of Pont des Arts

What do all the love locks at Pont des Arts and a Tibetan sand mandala have in common? They both disappear very soon. Just a few weeks back a railing finally collapsed under the weight of thousands of love locks.

While I took some pictures at Pont des Arts, an old gentleman was passing by. Let us call him, Claus. Claus did cross the bridge in a slow, but efficient speed. He did not have to stop, because of all the tourist like some fast sportive runners had to. Reminds me of the Tibetan saying:

„Sometimes you have to walk slower to reach your goal faster.“

Did he think about the narrow-mindedness of the humans species trying to grab a glimpse of infinity? Or did he wonder about those coming back and searching the traces of the past, checking if their love (lock) is still there… Some say

„all wisdom is useless without work. And work is senseless without love“.

Can we carry any load?
Maybe Claus is the Keymaker of Pont des Arts. Sure, all the heart locks attract Photoshop lovers from around the world, too. Can a piece of rusting, heavy-metal be something like a promise?

„If I’m knocking on heavens door, do I have to unlock all these locks?“

Again, the problem with external, material symbols is: they soon fade away. You might be quite happily while you are at Pont des Arts and kinda locked down your love (…) via a love lock. You jump for joy and think „I’m glad my key is in my pocket“! Years later you come back searching your love (lock) and be like „Oh god!! Where is mine??“

Claus has been crossing the Pont des Arts already for decades. He knows a lot about the burden of locks, love and liberty. After all those years, he knows the perfect place for a love lock and its key: a loving heart and a smile.

A big Merci! goes to: Eu Genie, Leon H., Roman Tiker, Gisela H., Nicole M., Simon S., Steven K., Gwenette S., Uwe S., lesewunder, supercalifragelistik, insidemyorbit, hexepimmie and diamor3.