Holding back in Love

holding back in love picture for the blog post by Chris Remspecher
You were the lucky one in the past, something happened and now you are holding back in love. Why? Did you burn your fingers at the oven and now you know that it’s hot? Some say, we learn faster through pain. Let’s see…

Recently I met a friend who is going through a weird divorce after being together with that other human being for almost 14 years. Many questions suddenly pop up:

  • What did go wrong?
  • Was it my fault?
  • Will it happen again?
  • Can I love again?
  • Am I still worthy, sexy and loveable?

We talked a lot, had a cocktail or two and finally bought some new running shoes. Sure, I heard “but my old ones are still good!” … but really? Still good and good enough is just not the same like new. Sometimes symbols help us to understand, that we are on our new path now.

Holding back in love is totally understandable but not wise in the long run.

The predictive analytics were quite obvious, life will go on and a new partner will soon be visible at the horizon. A little quantum jump into the future and today is a few months later. Again, we meet, have a cup of chai tea, talk and it is very obvious something changed. The smile was SO BRIGHT on the face 😀

What happened? The new partner did show up, like a perfect delivery from the cosmos. And suddenly the smile vanished from the face and some wrinkles of sorrow did show up.

“It’s too good to be true! Currently I am holding back in love. It could be quickly over again. Again!”

Driving back home, I was pondering about the pattern how we are holding back in love. It was a busy day on the highway. From one traffic jam, I made it to the next. And another…, one more…, and again… oh look, one more! Basically the whole way back was a mixture of driving fast if possible and stop-and-go in the jams.

If you think about it: have you seen anybody driving at 3mph on a free highway? Just because there is the possibility that in a few hundred miles there will be another traffic jam? Have you? To me, it sounds like the pattern of holding back in love. Better move around in life at snail-speed, so you are always super prepared for the next hypothetical traffic jam. Sounds wise?

Off course, it is human, wise and very healthy to slow down after a dramatic change in life. Relax, look around, make sure, you are back in your middle but then pick up speed and stop holding back in love ❤️

The Keymaker of Pont des Arts

Picture for "The Keymaker of Pont des Arts" by Chris Remspecher in 2014.The Keymaker of Pont des Arts

What do all the love locks at Pont des Arts and a Tibetan sand mandala have in common? They both disappear very soon. Just a few weeks back a railing finally collapsed under the weight of thousands of love locks.

While I took some pictures at Pont des Arts, an old gentleman was passing by. Let us call him, Claus. Claus did cross the bridge in a slow, but efficient speed. He did not have to stop, because of all the tourist like some fast sportive runners had to. Reminds me of the Tibetan saying:

„Sometimes you have to walk slower to reach your goal faster.“

Did he think about the narrow-mindedness of the humans species trying to grab a glimpse of infinity? Or did he wonder about those coming back and searching the traces of the past, checking if their love (lock) is still there… Some say

„all wisdom is useless without work. And work is senseless without love“.

Can we carry any load?
Maybe Claus is the Keymaker of Pont des Arts. Sure, all the heart locks attract Photoshop lovers from around the world, too. Can a piece of rusting, heavy-metal be something like a promise?

„If I’m knocking on heavens door, do I have to unlock all these locks?“

Again, the problem with external, material symbols is: they soon fade away. You might be quite happily while you are at Pont des Arts and kinda locked down your love (…) via a love lock. You jump for joy and think „I’m glad my key is in my pocket“! Years later you come back searching your love (lock) and be like „Oh god!! Where is mine??“

Claus has been crossing the Pont des Arts already for decades. He knows a lot about the burden of locks, love and liberty. After all those years, he knows the perfect place for a love lock and its key: a loving heart and a smile.

A big Merci! goes to: Eu Genie, Leon H., Roman Tiker, Gisela H., Nicole M., Simon S., Steven K., Gwenette S., Uwe S., lesewunder, supercalifragelistik, insidemyorbit, hexepimmie and diamor3.