You were the lucky one in the past, something happened and now you are holding back in love. Why? Did you burn your fingers at the oven and now you know that it’s hot? Some say, we learn faster through pain. Letâ€™s seeâ€¦
Recently I met a friend who is going through a weird divorce after being together with that other human being for almost 14 years. Many questions suddenly pop up:
- What did go wrong?
- Was it my fault?
- Will it happen again?
- Can I love again?
- Am I still worthy, sexy and loveable?
We talked a lot, had a cocktail or two and finally bought some new running shoes. Sure, I heard â€œbut my old ones are still good!â€ â€¦ but really? Still good and good enough is just not the same like new. Sometimes symbols help us to understand, that we are on our new path now.
Holding back in love is totally understandable but not wise in the long run.
The predictive analytics were quite obvious, life will go on and a new partner will soon be visible at the horizon. A little quantum jump into the future and today is a few months later. Again, we meet, have a cup of chai tea, talk and it is very obvious something changed. The smile was SO BRIGHT on the face 😀
What happened? The new partner did show up, like a perfect delivery from the cosmos. And suddenly the smile vanished from the face and some wrinkles of sorrow did show up.
â€œItâ€™s too good to be true! Currently I am holding back in love. It could be quickly over again. Again!â€
Driving back home, I was pondering about the pattern how we are holding back in love. It was a busy day on the highway. From one traffic jam, I made it to the next. And anotherâ€¦, one moreâ€¦, and againâ€¦ oh look, one more! Basically the whole way back was a mixture of driving fast if possible and stop-and-go in the jams.
If you think about it: have you seen anybody driving at 3mph on a free highway? Just because there is the possibility that in a few hundred miles there will be another traffic jam? Have you? To me, it sounds like the pattern of holding back in love. Better move around in life at snail-speed, so you are always super prepared for the next hypothetical traffic jam. Sounds wise?
Off course, it is human, wise and very healthy to slow down after a dramatic change in life. Relax, look around, make sure, you are back in your middle but then pick up speed and stop holding back in love ❤️