Breaking up with Someone

Picture for the blog post "breaking up with someone" by Chris Remspecher in 2015.Breaking up with someone, most times is not easy, but healthy.

In 2015 among the most horrible weapons for breaking up with someone, number #1 still is: words.
Words may cut deep into your soul, leave you behind wounded and it’s very hard for others to see the marks. In times of short messages, social media and all, people tend to type thoughts which they would never say out loud standing in front of you. I guess our brains do not make much difference if the input came from our audio interface (ears) or our video googles (eyes).

More than often, I recognize an “undo-mentality-trend” recently. People blow out thoughts in (public) communications with a fire-and-forget mind-set. If the comment did damage to a company or hurt the feelings of an individual, responses are like “if you don’t like the comment, delete it” or “I thought we were friends and friends forgive”.

Of course, forgiving is balm to our own souls. Forgetting everything is (at least for me) not possible and unhealthy. In ZEN we learn a lot from easy comparisons. Imagine a cup of tea. The cup – you. The tea – your soul/ happiness/ spirit…
A solid cup can hold a very hot amount of tea for a long time. A broken cup, well, … sure you can fix it again and glue the parts together. Maybe some parts even got lost in the process; in short, the cup will never be the same. Even if you forgive gravity a million times…

“For everything you have missed you have gained something.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

 Learn, forgive and move on – you are not a tree.

2 Replies to “Breaking up with Someone”

  1. Hi Chris!
    I am always learning something from your blogs…. This is very true. Forgiveness is a balm for our souls and forgetting should not be an option. If we forget, how would we ever learn? We would consistently make mistakes and sadly enough we would make the same mistakes. Probably make the same mistakes while expecting a different outcome which is the definition of insanity and foolishness. However, here’s something to think about, why DO some of us make the same mistakes? Is there something we are missing when put into similar situations than before? What lesson or lessons would a person miss when put into similar situations where the outcome is guaranteed to be the same as before??? How does a person overcome these trials and tests so that they can move on in life? Something else to think about, why do we fall into similar situations?
    I will be honest and say that there have been times where I am in a situation that I have been in before and yet wondered how I got there. Frankly, I get irritated, bored, annoyed and so on with these situations because the outcome IS the same. My immediate reaction is to ignore, sleep or find a mental escape because of the known outcome. Why does the same situation keep occurring, am I doomed to continue this crazy cycle for eternity? What am I suppose to learn or do different so that I can GROW from this?


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